Other Books by Warren Farrell

Tables of Contents
(Chapters and Selected Sections)


The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap and What Women Can Do About It



Dr. Warren Farrell, the only man ever elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC, once asked, “If men are paid more for the same work, why would anyone hire a man?”

He may be sorry he asked. But during the years of research that followed, the answer evolved: Men earn more than women, but not for the same work—for 25 different workplace choices. Men’s choices lead to men earning more money; women’s choices lead to women having better lives.

Men’s trade-offs include working more hours (women typically work more at home); taking more-hazardous assignments (cab-driving; construction; trucking); moving overseas or to an undesirable location on-demand (women’s greater family obligations inhibit this); and training for more-technical jobs with less people contact (e.g., engineering).

Women’s choices appear more likely to involve a balance between work and the rest of life. Women are more likely to balance income with a desire for safety, fulfillment, potential for personal growth, flexibility and proximity-to-home. These lifestyle advantages lead to more people competing for these jobs and thus lower pay.

Only when Dr. Farrell’s research journey uncovered these 25 differences, did the “holy grail” become visible: women now earn more money for the same work—that is, women earn more when they work equal hours at the same job with the same size of responsibility for the same length of time with equal productivity, etc. The women’s movement can celebrate its greatest single triumph—exceeding its goal of equal pay for equal work. A triumph that frees women to enter the next level of progress...

Since men still earn more money, Why Men Earn More introduces to women the 25 ways to higher pay, showing which trade-offs lead to how much increase in pay, creating for women an opportunity to decide which trade-offs are worth it given her individual personality and current goals.


Dr. Farrell shares his journey with us—how he saw his wife, a business owner, responding to employees who wanted a balanced life with equal pay. What he was being told by CEOs “in private” that they were unwilling to say in public. Warren shares how his discovery that never-married women have long out-earned never-married men led him on the search for factors other than the male-female factor that accounted for the pay gap, and helped him understand that men’s workplace choices were not “choices” per se, but the married man’s fulfillment of his financial responsibilities.

In the Intro, Why Men Earn More stuns us with some current data on how both part-time working women now earn more than men when they work equal hours, as well as how much more than men full-time working women make if they have never been married. He introduces us to the sources of his data (usually the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics) and his research methods. But at every moment, as our sensibilities of political correctness are being shattered, we feel Dr. Farrell reconstructing our vision, allowing the discovery of opportunities for women that were missed when our binoculars were focused on discrimination against women. Thus the twenty-five opportunities to higher pay that are Part I.

Part I

Chapters One, Two & Three: Field of Dreams: Choose the Right Field and Higher Pay Will Come

Dr. Farrell begins with the first ten ways to higher pay—ten ways to choose both a field and sub-field that pay well: the “Field-with-Higher-Yield Formula.” He explains how almost every field has high-paying sub-fields; which fields and sub-fields are “fields of the future;” which are becoming more user-friendly to women due to changes in technology.

Did you know that no woman has died in the Marines or Air Force in the War in Iraq? Findings like this allow Dr. Farrell to guide women safely where most fear to tread—into the two secrets of hazardous occupations: first, where women can get equal pay with much less-than-equal danger; and second, how, for example, running a construction company allows a woman all the affirmative action benefits for women-owned construction companies with none of the hazards of being a construction worker.

Each approach of Dr. Farrell’s offers creative, win-win solutions. While on the one hand he explains the money we miss when we follow our bliss, he offers creative ways to earn the money to securely pursue what we love to do. In this chapter Dr. Farrell begins his push to get both sexes to look at each other and their work-family lives more creatively.

Chapter Four: Doing Time

This chapter looks at the average benefit of each contribution of “Doing Time” in the workplace—from hours worked to uninterrupted work experience with the same employer, to commuting time. For example, if someone works 13% more hours in the workplace, should they expect 13% more pay? No. They should expect 44% more pay. Once we know the pay-off and the trade-off, we look at the implications of these for planning a family, or following your bliss; for traditional roles, or a reversal of roles. Do top executive women wish they had put in more hours, or fewer hours, or do they look at work time differently? Cross-culturally, which women and men are the happiest—those who work overtime or part time? And finally, what are the male-female differences in each of these areas, and how much of the pay gap is accounted for by men’s tendency to work that extra 13%, have more uninterrupted experience, and so on?

Chapter Five: On the Move

In “On the Move” we discover that people who get higher pay are more willing to move to undesirable locations at the company’s behest, and, once on the job, are more willing to travel extensively (be an international sales rep versus a local sales rep). We get advice from top female executives on the importance of international experience at an early age, and how companies are developing more flexible, short-term ways for women to get that experience. We are introduced to “Carpe Diem Moving” such as construction workers and nurses moving where they’re needed when they’re needed. Since only 16% of “frequent flyers” are women, special emphasis is placed on what needs to happen for a woman who wishes to travel for the family to benefit emotionally.

Chapter Six: Responsibility, Training and Ambition

We begin this chapter by discovering “You Can’t Tell a Salary by its Title”—why, for example, a Corporate Vice President of Finance is likely to make more and be promoted more quickly than a Corporate Vice President for Human Resources. And why we can’t say “male Corporate Vice Presidents of Finance earn more than female Corporate Vice Presidents of Finance, therefore women are discriminated against” until we determine whether the men have more financial responsibilities (larger international companies, etc.) . Perhaps the most intriguing part of the chapter is the differences between the goals of men and women at every stage of life, leading to men earning more money and women having more balanced lives, to women’s visible juggling acts and men men’s invisible juggling acts.

Part I Conclusion

Part One’s goals include creating a different attitude toward the workplace—so that when we hear, “men earn a dollar for each 80 cents women earn” it will trigger for women 25 paths to higher pay rather than one path to victimhood. It hopefully uncovered not just twenty-five—but hundreds-- of little pay-offs such as the dozens of ways to be a nurse, engineer or computer specialist--with a choice tailored to each personality at every time of life. It introduces new methods of looking at the workplace—of looking not just at field of choice, but subfield; not just a field as it was or is, but a field as technology will create it to be; a field transformed by the evolution of men caring more for children and women creating more money; of how fields will adjust to economic hard times and easy times; of the importance of assessing not just pay but the trade-offs of hours invested, moves required, risks taken, so each man and woman can live a life of genuine power—the power that comes from the knowledge that leads to control of our lives.

Part II

Chapter Seven: What Women Contribute to the Workplace

Drawing from his corporate workshops, Dr. Farrell tells us what men love about working with women, and why it is important to not pressure women into becoming “imitation men”. He gives many examples of how women’s and men’s differences create workplace synergy—from good cop/bad cop roles in domestic violence work to the creativity of female funeral directors to the greater family focus of female legislators. He concludes with what makes men feel threatened by some women and what both sexes can do to reduce that feeling.

Chapter Eight: Why Women and Men Approach Work So Differently, Yet So Similarly

When women and men can be their own bosses, they are free to approach work by priorities that are theirs, thus a look at the differences between men-owned and women-owned businesses creates a purer picture of their priorities. For starters, female-owned businesses earn only 47% of what male-owned businesses earn. Why? The twenty-five male-female differences are not tempered by either corporate requirements or corporate egalitarianism. Pay is measured by raw productivity. But also we see how more subtle influences of female and male socialization, such as men’s tendency to pay for women, may influence men’s greater willingness to pay for employees. This chapter introduces “focused responsibilities” and “divided responsibilities” and explains how women’s tendency toward divided responsibilities will be especially viable in the 21st Century.

Chapter Nine: The Myths that Prevent Women from Knowing Why Men Earn More

When women believe they earn less than men for the same work, it makes sense for their husbands to work and women to care for the children, and thus we create a self-fulfilling prophecy of women leaving the workplace, justifying lower pay. The belief also spawns many corollary myths that breed contempt for men, such as “women are collaborative, men are hierarhical,” or “women make better managers.” Dr. Farrell shows how each of these beliefs are not only myths, but hurts women’s careers, poisons love and divides families. Other than that, they’re great!

Chapter Ten: Discrimination Against Women

Does this mean there’s no discrimination against women? No. There is. Dr. Farrell demonstrates the subtle ways in which, when a mother works, we unwittingly “guilt trip da mama;” he explains to men the unconscious mechanisms of the buddy-boy network, and explores how women’s mentorship advantage is backfiring as today’s climate of women suing men has turned men’s instinct to protect women into the need to protect themselves. A chapter rich with solutions to these discriminations.

Chapter 11: Discrimination In Favor of Women: Why Women Are Now Paid More Than Men for the Same Work

If women are now paid more than men for the same work, why is that? Dr. Farrell begins with the legal mechanisms of discrimination in favor of women: the “affirmative action tax” and “psychological affirmative action” that together make it possible to pay a woman more even if she produces less. Warren then looks at the social mechanisms—contrasting “female comfort power” that works for women with the fear of male sexuality that works against men; together, they create the “caste system” of the touchable and untouchable male. He concludes with some of the ways this discrimination in favor of women forces men to develop skills to be paid equally, which skills eventually lead men earning more (for different work).

Chapter 12: The Genetic Celebrity Pay Gap

When a woman’s genes offer her enough beauty that men who know nothing about her except her beauty nevertheless follow her—as we might follow a celebrity—Dr. Farrell calls her a genetic celebrity. In this chapter, we discover the “genetic celebrity pay gap”—how the man “earns” his way to her attention by paying for dinners, drinks, dates and diamonds; by creating career opportunities and sharing his future earnings with her in marriage. We are introduced to “Genetic Celebrity Hiring Discrimination” and “Access Discrimination” as well as myriad forms of “invisible income” the genetic celebrity generates, such as her power as a tip magnet. The results? The man earns more money; the genetic celebrity often has more money, has more time to spend it, and lives longer. But all is not roses as the pedals of her genetic celebrity power wilts...

Chapter 13. Some Nagging Questions....

This brief chapter deals with two nagging questions: “When women enter men’s occupations, doesn’t the pay go down?” and “Isn’t the issue more than equal pay—isn’t it comparable worth?” In a sense, the lessons of the entire book are the answer to both questions, and Dr. Farrell concludes this chapter with a humorous view of what comparable worth might look like were it proposed by men.

Chapter 14. Conclusion

Why Men Earn More concludes by connecting the dots between the goals it hopes it fulfilled and the changes that we need to make if the future is to be better for both ourselves and our children; between our monetary futures and our emotional future; and between our personal futures and our future within a global economy.


How To Bring The Dads We Need To The Children We Love
(NY: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam; January, 2001)

What is Father and Child Reunion About?

"Just as the last third of the 20th century was about creating equal opportunity for women as workers, so the first third of the 21st century will be about creating equal opportunity for men as parents. Neither goal will be achieved until both goals are achieved."
--From Father and Child Reunion

Based on thirteen years of research, FATHER AND CHILD REUNION: How To Bring The Dads We Need To The Children We Love (a Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam Book; January 2, 2001; $21.21 at Amazon.com) will force a re-examination of the circumstances in which a dad or a mom is best for children. For starters, some findings on children with single parents..

  • Children do better with single fathers than with single mothers. Both boys and girls are healthier and do better psychologically and academically, as well as socially.

  • Even characteristics such as empathy are exhibited more by children brought up by single fathers.

  • Single fathers experience less stress juggling children and work than do single mothers.
What family structures are most likely to be in the child's best interests? Dr. Farrell's findings suggest the following ranking:
  (1) the intact family;
  (2) shared parent-time(joint physical custody);
  (3) primary father time;

(4) primary mother time.

While the intact family is the winner, Father and Child Reunion makes it clear why, if divorce cannot be prevented, children being primarily with their dads gives children more of both parents than when they are primarily with their mothers; reduces a mother's economic dependency on a man, and reduces men's ten times greater suicide rate after divorce.

Does Dr. Farrell conclude, then, that men are better at fathering than women are at mothering? No. But he does conclude that we have been waging a "War Against Fathers" - and mothers and children are among the losers.

Father and Child Reunion answers questions relevant to every family:

  • Exactly what do fathers do with children that's different from what mothers do?

  • When does the focus on the best interests of the child become in the worst interests of the child?

  • Why there is both a mothering instinct and a fathering instinct. Why they operate in different ways. How current parenting methods and government policies are destroying the fathering instinct.

  • What is the impact of a stepfather? A stepmother?

  • What is the long-term impact of moving the child away from the parent it does not live with?

Father and Child Reunion is about what it will take to make fathers full and equal partners in the family. It will take:

  • Men's ABC Rights. And Responsibilities. See chapter 6 for a powerful argument as to how we are unwittingly preventing fathers from taking equal responsibility for children by denying them equal ABC Rights -- in the areas of Abortion, Birth control, and Childcare.

  • Eliminating "Taxation Without Representation." When a father is "taxed" to pay for children he can rarely see, never see, was never informed he had, is tricked into fathering, or who have been fathered by another man, he is experiencing "Taxation Without Representation." Taxation without representation creates revolutions, not families.

  • Ending the "War Against Fathers." The US government spends 340 times as much getting fathers to pay child support as it does to prevent mothers from denying fathers access to their children. Yet fathers who see their children pay for their children.

  • Confronting the "Father's Catch-22." Fathers have learned to express love to their family by being away from the family they love.

  • Re-examining the attitude behind our vocabulary. "Visitation": Isn't that for criminals? "Child support": Isn't that more than money? "Child abuse": Is denial of a child's access to the other parent child abuse? Is badmouthing of the absent parent? Is a false accusation of the other parent made in the heat of a custody battle?

More than half of Father and Child Reunion is about such solutions. Radical solutions. Solutions that transcend disciplines.


Table of Contents
(Chapters and Selected Sections)





Chapter 1.Why Dad is Crucial

  The Impact of Dad 34
  The Impact of Shared Parent Time (or Joint Physical Custody). 46
  If Shared Parent Time Isn't in the Cards, Are Children Better Off With Their Mom, Or With Their Dad?. 47
  Do Boys Do Better with Dads and Girls with Moms?. 56
  The Impact of a Stepparent 56
  The Impact of Moving the Child Away from the Non-Resident Parent 58

Chapter 2. Is there a Mothering Instinct?...A Fathering Instinct?...And What Does it all Mean for our Kids?

  Exactly What Do Fathers Do With Children That's Different From What Mothers Do? 63

Chapter 3. Are Dads More Likely to Abuse?

  Are Fathers Often Being Falsely Accused of Sexual Abuse? 89
  Is Our Belief In The Superiority Of Mothers Related To Our Adopting The Female Definitions of Sexual Abuse? 95

Chapter 4. What Prevents Dads From Being Involved?

  The Dads Themselves 98
  Next Time You See a Full-Time Dad in a Movie, Notice This Formula.... 103
  How Our Discrimination Against Men's Style of Nurturing Keeps Men from Children 107
  The Badmouthing Barrier 120
Chapter 5. Toward the Best Interests of Everyone....

  Is the "Best Interests of the Child" Theory in the Best Interests of the Child? 125
  Paying Men To Stay, Not To Go Away.... 126
  What Every Dad Can Do (and Mom, Too) 133


  The Feminism That Was 139

Chapter 6. Men's ABC Rights

  Men's ABC Rights and Responsibilities: Abortion, Birth, Caring 141
  A Man Can Just Have Sex and Disappear, But A Woman Has to Live with the Consequences, Right? 142
  The Fallacy of "It's a Woman's Right to Choose Because It's a Woman's Body" 145
  The "Petri Generation": Questions Frozen Embryos Will Soon Be Asking ... 147
  How Women's Rights Are Creating Men's Rights 149
  The "Trick and Sue" Law: Female-as-Kryptonite 155
  Is A Men's Birth Control Pill A Viable Solution? 159
  If A Man Wants To Love A Child, Does The Woman Have The Right To Abort It? 165

Chapter 7. Does Divorce Make Women Poorer And Men Richer?

  How Men Lost Their Children Because They Were Not The Primary Parent, And Lost Their Money Because They Were The Primary Breadwinner 183

Chapter 8. Is Child Support Helping or Hurting the Family?

  Are We Giving Women Incentives To Break Up The Family? 187
  Why We Think Of Dads More As Deadbeats Than As Dead Broke, Deadened, Dead-Ended, Or Dead 197

Chapter 9. "Visitation" is for Criminals

  The Child's Social Immune System: The Case For Denial Of Parent Time As Child Abuse 206
  Why Mothers Deprive Fathers Of "Dad Time" 209
  The Men's EEOC (Equal Emotional Opportunity Commission) 216
  Chapter 10. Playing the "Abuse" Card 219
  How a Charge of Child Abuse Creates Twelve Guarantees of Child Abuse 223
  Daughter Denies Abuse, So Why Is Dad In Prison? 234
  Women Who Sexually Assault, and the Teachers They Become 235
  Is The False Charge Of Sex Abuse The "Nuclear Weapon Of Domestic Relations"? 237
  When Should The Law Reach Into Our Homes? 247

Chapter 11. The Political Consequences Of Ignoring Fathers

  What the Pro-Choice Woman and the Right-to-Life Woman Have in Common 254
Chapter 12. Conclusion:Toward a Father and Child Reunion 258

Table of Contents


Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say
by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.


Part I. The Secret to Being Loved: How To Communicate With Anyone, Anywhere, Anytime

Chapter 1. The Most Important Thing to Understand About Men...In Fact, About Anyone
Chapter 2. How to Give Criticism So It Can Easily Be Heard
Chapter 3. How to Hear Criticism So It Can Easily Be Given
Chapter 4. How to Help Men Express Feelings

Part II. In the Home: If Your Man Knew What to Say, Here's What He Might Say...

Chapter 5. ... If You Told Him, "I Work Full-Time And Take Care Of The Kids,
  But You Won't Even Do The Dishes."
Chapter 6. ... If He Knew You Feared His Potential For Violence....

Part III. Outside The Home : If Your Man Knew What to Say, Here's What He Might Say...

Chapter 7. ... When Male-Bashing Is Called "Funny," But Female-Bashing Is Called "Sexist."
Chapter 8. ... When He Hears, "It's Men In The News, Men in Government, Men at the
  Top - Where are the Women?"

Table of Contents


The Myth of Male Power
by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.

Order though:


Chapter 1. Is Male Power Really a Myth? A First Glance
Chapter 2. Stage I to Stage II: How Successful Men Freed Women (But Forgot to Free Themselves)
Chapter 3. Are "Power," "Patriarchy," "Dominance," and "Sexism" Actually Code Words for Male Disposability?


Chapter 4. The Death Professions: "My Body, Not My Choice"
Chapter 5. War Hero or War Slave?: The Armed Prostitute
Chapter 6. The Suicide Sex: If Men Have the Power, Why Do They Commit Suicide More?
Chapter 7. Why Do Women Live Longer?
Chapter 8. The Insanity Track
Chapter 9. Violence Against Who?
Chapter 10. If We Cared as Much About Saving Males as Saving Whales, Then....


Chapter 11. How the System Protects Women, or Two Different Laws We Live In
Chapter 12. Women Who Kill Too Much and the Courts That Free Them: The Twelve "Female-Only" Defenses
Chapter 13. The Politics of Sex
Chapter 14. The Politics of Rape
Chapter 15. From Husband Sam to Uncle Sam: Government as Substitute Husband


Table of Contents


Why Men Are The Way They Are
by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.



Chapter 1. Men Have the Power - Why Would They Want to Change?


Introduction to Part 2

Chapter 2. What Women Want: The Message the Man Hears
Chapter 3. The Flashdance Phenomenon

Conclusion to Part 2


Chapter 4. Why Are Men So Preoccupied with Sex and Success?
Chapter 5. What Makes a Man Successful at Work That Makes Him Unsuccessful at Home? Or Why Can't Men Listen?
Chapter 6. Why Are Men So Afraid of Commitment?


Chapter 7. The New Sexism
Chapter 8. Why Did the Sexual Revolution Come and Go So Quickly?
Chapter 9. Dialogues on Sex, Success, and Fragile Egos

Should I Question My Motivations for Changing Him?

Chapter 10. What I Love Most About Men
Chapter 11. How Can I Change a Man (Without Just Getting Him Ready for the Next Woman)?
Chapter 12. How Can I Get Him to Express Feelings?
Chapter 13. Conclusion: Clearing the Way for Love

Table of Contents


The Liberated Man
by Warren Farrell, Ph.D.



Chapter 1. Women's Liberation and the Masculine Mystique: The Neglected Connection
Chapter 2. The Masculine Value System: Men Defining Reality
Chapter 3. The Development of Masculinity
Chapter 4. The Confines of Masculinity
Chapter 5. Super Bowl: Sexism, Patriotism, Religion, Gangs, and Warfare
Chapter 6. Masculine Images in Advertising
Chapter 7. The Family: Redefining Motherhood and Fatherhood
Chapter 8. Concrete Alternatives: Toward a Men's Liberation Movement


Chapter 9. Factual and Self-Fulfilling Myths
Chapter 10. Women's Liberation as Men's Liberation: Twenty-one Examples
Chapter 11. Highlights of Experiments on Changing Men's Attitudes
Chapter 12. Changing Behavior: The Subtleties and Barriers

Men's and Joint Consciousness-Raising: An Introduction for the '90s

Chapter 13. Men's Consciousness-Raising: Tools for Beyond Masculinity
Chapter 14. Joint Consciousness-Raising: Where the Future Lies
Chapter 15. Additional Problems, Topics, and Techniques in Running Consciousness-Raising Groups

The Author
The Book
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Copyright © 2005 Warren Farrell, Ph.D.